Complaints, in letter form.

Dear office workers

When there is someone on the phone, I call your office to tell you so. If you do not want to answer phone calls, the proper procedure is to let me know this and then I will re-direct phone calls elsewhere. If you don't tell me, and decide that not acknowledging my calls is less annoying, all it actually does is force me to track you down to let you know that there is a phone call - wasting everyone's time, and most of my patience.

Yours,
Me

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Dear cold,

Go away. Now.

My nose is blocked, my throat hurts, I'm coughing, and this is Not Fun. I'd sulk, if it'd do any good, but I have to blow my nose. Again.

Shoo,
Me

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Dear Ex-coworkers,

I told you over a month ago that I was quitting. It is not my fault that you have not, in the month's warning you have had, managed to find a replacement. No, I will NOT be at next week's meeting. Because I told you I quit. Done. Not there. Your lack of foresight is not my responsibility, and I'll be damned if I'll deal with it.

Exasperated,
Me


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Dear Father

Shut up about the tattoo. You don't approve. I get it. But not your tattoo, not your back, not your decision. Now, please, kindly fuck off.

Me

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Sister-dear

You're amazing, and wonderful, and quite possibly the best sister ever.

Gratefully,
Me