foi_nefaste

I am taking solace in a quote from Charles Darwin's diary:  'But I am very poorly today & very stupid & I hate everybody & everything. One lives only to make blunders.'

So even brilliant naturalists were prone to having horrible depression days. I'm not actually depressed, I don't think, or at least not as badly as I remember it being back when I was actually depressed (a quarter of a century ago now, wow!). Or maybe I am situationally depressed as opposed to chemically imbalanced depressed, and maybe that feels different? I don't know.

Anyway, I am being a major bummer to be around for everyone, including myself. If I could get away with it, I'd hide in my bedroom in my bed for the next six months or so until the universe decides to turn things around. Unfortunately, I still have to interact with the world. 

On that note, I have to get back to work. Catch you on the flip side, friends!

I don't have a long post in me today. The home visit with American Brittany Rescue went really well, and if Odin gets along well with the other dogs I will have the green light to bring him home, which is great.

That was the only good part of the day, because I received a notice in the mail that H&R Block made a mistake (?) with my taxes, to the tune of nearly $13,000 (I owe about $3.5K to H&R Block because they advanced me my supposed tax refund, and $9.5k to CRA). I don't know where I am supposed to find any of this money. I have never in my life owed this much money on taxes, and I am honestly at a loss as to how this happened. I need to dig out my tax paperwork and have someone at H&R Block walk me through step by step how this happened, and why the fuck their mistake is now suddenly my problem.

I honestly feels like, because I got a house and this is a nice thing, the universe has felt the need to balance this out by doing nothing but shit on me for the past two months or so. Like, can I get a fucking break, please? My parents were hospitalized, I got Covid, I had to work extra hours, there were problems with the mortgage and the closing and the insurance for the new place, KK got sick the day of the move and we had to postpone (which means I had to spend money on the cancellation, another month's rent and utilities mostly at my own expense because KK has no spare money), both cats needed $3k worth of dental surgery, I need to buy a CPAP next week (more money) my car needs repairs that are getting done this weekend (more money), and now this (the epitome of more fucking money).

Honestly, it's enough to make me want to throw myself off the closest high bridge. At least my life insurance might pay off some of the debt.