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foi_nefasteAt this point, I'm looking at the pile of work I should be doing instead of going to bed... and I can honestly say that I really don't give a damn. At all. Not even the hint of a damn here.
Which is probably why I'm now going to go to bed instead of studing for tomorrow's exam. 'cause, really? Screw it. I'll study in the morning.
I really miss thinking that I was studying something that mattered, that would have some impact, that would teach me something that I could use, that I could adapt or learn from... I miss looking at what I'm studying and getting the impression that I'm actually going to remember some of this in two months, and that what I'm learning might be relevant or applicable or even vaguely associated with something (anything!) I'll be doing. I miss, in short, giving a damn about what I'm studying, rather than feeling like I'm jumping through administrative hoops to convince a computer to spit out a degree and the dean to pat me on the head, hand it to me, and move right along to the next student number inconveniently incarnated as a person.
Which is probably why I'm now going to go to bed instead of studing for tomorrow's exam. 'cause, really? Screw it. I'll study in the morning.
I really miss thinking that I was studying something that mattered, that would have some impact, that would teach me something that I could use, that I could adapt or learn from... I miss looking at what I'm studying and getting the impression that I'm actually going to remember some of this in two months, and that what I'm learning might be relevant or applicable or even vaguely associated with something (anything!) I'll be doing. I miss, in short, giving a damn about what I'm studying, rather than feeling like I'm jumping through administrative hoops to convince a computer to spit out a degree and the dean to pat me on the head, hand it to me, and move right along to the next student number inconveniently incarnated as a person.
